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Support for Relatives


My Mother was told today she has bowel cancer

> sad I feel very angry as I writing this with tears streaming down I can just about see, My 77yr old mum was told earlier today that she has bowel cancer really don't know what to do with myself at the moment or how I'm going to cope I can't seem to stop crying. 


Thank you Jill,
I'll take that hug wink

The service went very well and everyone complimented the vicar. There were a couple of errors and she managed to mangle the Christian name of my Father but it was so close I'm not going to go about it.

They played three of the songs I asked for Doris Day - Que Sera Que Sera, What A Friend We Have In Jesus and we filed out of church to Joe Brown - I'll See You In My Dreams...

I was quite composed and did not cry that much, not that I was ashamed to do so. I was touched by service and what was said. It was a lovely service considering a funeral is not exactly something any of us want to attend.

I'll never forget Mum. Unfortunately, after a service is over you do tend to forget what was said. Just remember that it was as lovely as such a service can be.

My friend Anna in Cornwall sent me a text and reminded me that we were celebrating Mum's life so we should try not to be sad. Though of course we are sad because Mum is no longer part of our lives.

I should start to tidy the house and keep busy but I think I'll go to bed soon and listen to the radio...its easier than sitting here...and warmer...There is Desmond Carrington's radio show which we used to listen to together and then Friday Night Is Music Night!

My router arrived today so I can go the net and have Broadband but my line doesn't go live until May 8Th so I cannot connect it up until then.

Thank you for the kind thoughts too Alison and the instructions...


That's lovely Anthony! Sometimes simple is best!



My images are too big so I'm trying to find a way to make them smaller.

A few people said something similar Alison, it was quite a simpe service in many ways...

There were only flowers from me and though slightly smaller than I thought they'd be it was lovely, the flourist had done a combination of pink and white carnations but added some other types and greenery and the other one's from America. And my single rose, which I placed on the coffin.And my single rose. I realise now that I did not get as close a look at my flowers as I should have but I should not feel bad about that. You are not always thinking.

Our local Heron Freezer shop has increased in size and they have quite a lot of food at low prices so I may be doing quite a lot of food shopping there in future. I'm trying to buy food that is healthy whilst watching what I pay.

I managed a dinner of Gammon Steak, a slice of pineapple, sauté potatoes, carrots, peas, a sweet seasoned sauce and gravy and I cooked it in the microwave. It cost £1.

I did look at the ingredients of other ready meals and put them back, when you see ground chicken/recovered chicken, I don't want to know.

It was a pity as one meal was an All Day Breakfast with baked beans, sausages, potato and something else and there was bangers and mash.

Can they be any good(the ingredients were ok)part of Tesco's new Everyday range had some chicken and veg pies with gravy(4)for 84p.

I cannot get anything else in my kitchen cupboards or the fridge freezer so for the next few weeks I can avoid buying much food. I guess I'll have to just buy milk/bread. And I'll have to perhaps manage on a couple of meals and go back to eating cereal and milk.


I'm probably going off topic here(sorry)but it is what I did today...

Before I come into Mum's money I have a little of my own(it is a little)and my monitor to this pc is misbehaving so I have purchased an LCD/Freeview 23" TV/PC monitor(Tesco's brand)but the screens are made by Samsung.

If I find an annual tv license difficult in a year's time, I can block off the TV side of it and if I don't have an aerial connected they cannot fine me if don't have a license. And I can decide not to watch tv or watch recorded tv via the Internet.

I have also purchased a new Samsung LED/Freeview 32" TV for the lounge as the TV we have is almost 30 years old and has been playing up too. Now at least I am ok for the foreseeable future and again if I decide I cannot afford the license next year I can just disconnect it.

Here's a story, the monitor was placed in my shopping trolley, I paid for the Samsung TV and it will be in store on Monday I then went out to get my taxi...as I waited I realised no one had stopped me and I had not paid for the monitor! I could've got into the taxi and had a free TV but the thought of being collared as a shoplifter and me being honest I went back in store and paid for it.

I guess I feel better for doing so.

Now I need to find if I can reduce my gas and electric bills.


Sounds like you are perking up Anthony, which is good.

I cant understand why with the cooking skills you displayed for your mum you are not making cheap nourishing foods for yourself, soups, stews and casseroles can all be made in bulk and frozen, what on earth have you got in your freezer and cupboards that is making them so full and you say you have only milk and cereal to eat?

Another good nourishing food is jacket potatoes and you dont need to cook them for long in the oven to save expense you can cook them in the microwave and then finish them off to crisp in the oven for about 10-15 mins, served with baked beans, cheese or left over mince/curry/casserole they are good nutricious food that is cheap.

I hope you get a good nights sleep tonight and manage to work out how to downsize your pictures over the bank holiday weekend.

Best wishes, Alison


Good idea Alison, As the food reduces in the freezer I'll have a go at getting back into cooking comfort food again and trying to store it so I get a few meals out of what I cook.

I hope that I can find editing software that will reduce the images...no joy at the minute...



Plz dont start buying pies for 84 p. they will be full of flour and cheap fat with no decent food stuffs at all.

I never cook with meat but cheap protein is available in beans and pulses which you can cook in bulk the freeze for quick reheating later. I also use soya mince. Cheap as chips but you need to add stock cubes and othe flavours. My wife thinks it is a treat when I cook this! Honestly. We really like it with loads of onion and celery for a cottage pie effect or peppets n tomatoe for an italian pasta dish.


I'll do my best to eat healthily Suze although tonight I started buying jumpers and cardigans from Banadoes charity shop where every garment is only 99p. My short sleeve shirts won't do that any more. And the weather is still so cold. I am thinking of buying some bedsocks and long john's I never thought I'd hear myself saying that.

I went round Tescoe's checking the ingredients and have purchased quite a lot from their Everyday Range and saved some money(but added some on again through having to get a taxi)

Everytime I see some meat it says when opened use immediately but when there is only one of you...you know the rest, am I safe to put the remaining into the freezer if wrapped up. Otherwise I am missing out on quite a lot of food choices. As most packs usually have 3 or 4 pieces its a pity.


You can freeze stuff if it has not been frozen before. Wrap it well in a separate bag per portion so you only defrost one serving at a time.


When I get some room in the freezer again, I'll do that I have some freezer bags and cling film...Thanks Suze... smile

Three weeks since losing Mum today, I could do with a laugh, not sure I could do so yet still a bit early. However, I was up in the early hours What I found myself doing was watching one of the few DVD's I have(and did not realise that I had)of some Laurel and Hardy shorts when everything was ok and though I know its clever(the comedy seemed simple and not as cruel)

I know times move on and time doesn't stand still but its the kind of stuff I miss on TV these days and find it more difficult to find.

Perhaps when my internet Broadband goes live next week I will find more things to watch and listen to that will appeal.

And I can do more of that online(even compare radio to that in the UK)

And it may cheer me up but I may not feel that way when I have been to the CAB and I find how my finances may be or whether I can stay here a while longer.


Well, I'm cheating but I am going to try and have as near as I can a Sunday Lunch/Evening meal today. I still have some sliced chicken, a tin of new potatoes, gravy granuals, a yorkshire pudding and some frozen veg. So I should be able to prepare that quite quickly. I may follow it with some strawberries and ice cream whilst I can afford them and if I can make them last over a few meals. So the cost can be justified. And as I can do so now, I'll worry about when I am unable to.

I must stop sounding negative and going on about my hardship, I am hopefully stonger than my posts suggest.


I am sure that you are stronger as you say than what you post Anthony, you look like you are managing cooking for yourself and looking at ways to keep occupied, it is tough but you have coped well so far. Good luck, i wonder if you now have time for your blog to write down how you are feeling day to day, you could add it to the list of blogs here so that other people could read it and gain some insight from you about how you manage.....i think it would be a great way of continuing to express how you are feeling and have a benchmark for how you are doing.


Good idea Hazel wink

I'll see if I can as I kind of moving away from what this site is really meant for..but it still has a connection to the situation that I find myself...

I am in general quite calm and so far not depressed(but it could still hit)I'm not silly to believe its over. It does seem strange cooking for one.

So I have to try and post those images and put a link to my blog(but then again Mum's images are over there anyhow)

Here's a quick link to my blog in the meantime...


Most of what is over there is new but I have lifted a few things in recent weeks to save time and writing the same text...


The additional link will take you to recent images I posted...

To See Mum you need to go April 22nd's post which I cannot seem to link to...


Thanks Anthony i will go over and look at your blog and it will be lovely to see your mum after hearing so much about her. I do think coming through this awful time that you have had with your mum as you mention the more detailed information that you write here may be best continued on your blog. But as you know that doesn't mean that we don't want to support you here through what is going to be a tough time as you come to terms with your new situation. I hope that you do look at other threads to see how people are generally supported in other areas of the forum.


Yes Hazel, I hope that I will still have some kind of continued contact with this site and all the friends that have supported me. In one way my situation continues, in another as my connection to someone with cancer has ended, you can perhaps understand why some members drift away, which is sad because there will be times where someone comes to mind and you find yourself asking "I wonder what happened to..."

In a way having a blog(most comments are positive but I still leave the nasty one's up and don't censor)does still allow contact whether reading or leaving a comment and in time I hope once again my blog will widen in it's contents again and not just talk about illness etc...


It's off topic sorry but I wondered if you could help me? I put this on my blog but it might be missed over there...

I purchased some Mince and Belly Pork...

I used to freeze it then get it out and break a bit off put the rest back in the freezer, defrost what I had taken out of the freezer. Then cook it.

So how does this work?

My auntie says cook all the mince(brown it)I am then supposed to simmer it in a pan(possibly with a stock cube, herbs, garlic etc?)And eat some and put the rest in containers and after it cools, put in the freezer for another day? Do I drain it? If I am using it the following day can leave it in the fridge part? How long can I freeze it for? How long should I defrost it for if it's been in the freezer?

When I have defrosted it, if I don't want to eat it cold, how do I warm it up? I have heard I can simmer it in a pan of water for a few minutes, if I do again should I add some stock/gravy to the water to give it some flavour again or do I use plain water?

Any ideas and advice appreciated.

Whilst I am on I cannot eat all of the belly pork that I purchased. Do I cook all of it at once and freeze some of the cooked pork for later use or can I take out what I need when I first open the packet and wrap up the remainder and put the raw meat in the freezer?



Got reasonably good news from CAB(for now)but will probably need their help in the future again...It will be tight for a while moneywise but I think my future is safe lol

I have my tv's at last lol

And I am now on broadband...what a difference speed wise lol

Line rental via BT ends on May 22nd lol


Great to hear that things are getting sorted and it isn 't as bleak as you might have expected.


Trying to find a deal for reducing a electric and gas charges. Difficult not knowing what my finances will be but as Mum had the heating on a lot the last few bills are very high and with me saving putting it on the next bill may not be accurate but I have been given a quote suggesting my electric may come down by half each month and the gas could still be reduced. The same company thinks my new tv and monitor may use less power too. I hope so...

Bought my first set of long john's but a lack colours and sizes meant I only have one set sad > sad and they had to be in white but the top and bottoms were reduced to half price. Totalling £10 instead of £20.


This is the time to have strength and lots of will power. Unless you have it, this is only going to be difficult for you. Remember this motivational quote:

The most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.
~ Pierre de Courbertin.

Fight, and it will all be happily over some day.