Need to talk to people that get it!
So quick bit of background info
I'm 35, was diagnosed with stage 3 back in December, in Jan an 11cm tumour was removed. Feb I started 8 rounds of capox.
I've completed 4 rounds. Today I had a check up with the consultant l. New trials and studies have been done that show that 4 rounds are just as effective as 8. So that's it, chemos finished, I'm finished. I should be relived, happy, over the moon. But I'm not. It feels like a massive anti climax, I can't really explain it, I'm scared that they've made the wrong decision, I'm scared my anxiety is going to go through the roof. Because the tumour was removed there's no way of seeing if it's worked. It's a case of if it comes back they'll find it on a six month scan.
The texts have started to come through of 'amazing news' blah blah blah. I don't want to read them, I don't want to be receiving them, I don't feel like it's amazing news.
My heads just all over the place.
Just wanted to write it down in a place where people understand these odd emotions.
Thanks for listening!!