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Just Diagnosed

lizziejane

Scared

Hi I’m Lisa and I’ll be 51 later this coming week. I was diagnosed with bowel cancer last month. I don’t think I have ever felt so scared and lonely as I do at this time. The family and friends I have told are all incredibly supportive but I just feel very much alone. Briefly, I was scanned in Dec 17 to confirm I had gallstones. Whilst that was being done it was notice I had something on my liver (this hasn’t yet been confirmed as cancer). Two CT scans and a colonoscopy confirmed I have a cancerous tumour in my bowel. This past week I have had two MRI scans (pelvis and liver) and this coming week a sigmoidoscopy. Sometime the following week I will have another appointment with the surgeon. My head is totally battered and my anxiety is off the scale. Had a bad day today, lots of tears. Just so scared. Lisa

Baxter2

Hi @lizziejane and a very warm welcome to the forum!

You’re in good company here then. Most of us have been there too. This initial period of being diagnosed and trying to establish the full picture is truly frightening. Loads of thoughts and fears go whizzing round our heads (especially during the night!) and it’s just an awful surreal and isolating feeling. I remember it all too well. Just try to get through each day as best you can drawing on your support network as much as possible.

I promise, it will all seem to be more manageable once the full picture is known and your treatment plan is in place. There are some useful publications available which you may find useful at top right of page.

I hope you’re managing to get some sleep too. I’m sure there will be lots of forum users popping in to say hello and more than willing to virtually hold your hand and offer their knowledge, experience and support.

Take care,

K????❤️

Lady GT

Another welcome from me too @lizziejane .
I'm so sorry to hear your news but, as Baxter says, you are in good company here. Every single person on this forum can identify with what you are feeling at the moment.
And the isolation is very difficult, isn't it? Friends and family do what they can but, unless you have walked the path yourself, it's impossible to understand what a cancer diagnosis feels like.
It rocks your whole world in a way that's hard to describe.

Hang in there while your team finish all the tests, they are being very thorough so that they have a complete picture of what's going on in there and can decide the best way forward for you.
In the meantime, maybe start to think of some questions you'd like to ask at your appointment with the surgeon/oncologist.
Things like, how big is the tumour and exactly where is it? Is there any spread to other parts of the body? What is the proposed course of treatment?
Understanding everything helps you to feel more in control at this very frightening time.

And stick around here. Ask any questions you like, nothing is too small or too silly. Between us, we've pretty much 'been there and done that', and will support you all we can.

:x:

DianeS

Good morning @lizziejane and welcome to our forum. I’m sure we will all agree this stage of cancer is very scary, you are facing the unknown and it’s not somewhere you choose to be. I’m so pleased you have found our forum as it’s a great place to make friends, ask questions and generally to get the support you need from people going through or having gone through the same thing. Take each day as a tiny step and your body and mind will accept this situation, and you will become stronger. Once your tests are finished your oncology team will offer you your treatment, and facing it with positivity is the best way forward. We will all be here to help you, and remember cancer treatments are now more effective than they used to be. Best wishes Diane :x::x:

Chas

Hello @lizziejane your going through a tough period and feel swamped with emotions. Sadly it’s a place we’ve been to or are going through now. As others have s said when plans are in place you’ll hopefully feel more able to face things. Try not to overthink the future, engage in the present and keep active.
Support is here for you.
Ositive thoughts and prayers coming your way. :x::x:

Polly 1

Hi @lizziejane another here to virtually hold your hand through this very worrying time. As the others have said you will feel better when a plan is in place, whatever it is.

Keep us updated and if you have any questions ask away :x::x:

Jon-T

Hi @lizziejane I don't know how to help you, but I have been through 6 month of chemo, colon resection and liver resection and since then all tests has been clear, so just trust your medical team they will do all they can do for you.

mem

Hi and another warm welcome from me too @lizziejane. As you can see, you are certainly not on your own and we will be right here with you.
Sending love and support your way :x::x:

Wren17

Hi @lizziejane welcome to the forum . Sending you lots of hugs and hoping you have a treatment plan soon :x::x:

Rach

@lizziejane a warm welcome from me. Much love :x::x::x:

kitti

Hi, Just wanted to say hi, I totally understand how your feeling, it's all overwhelming isn't it? I did feel a bit better once I knew my treatment plan, the worry doesn't go away but you have something to focus on. Sending hugs :x:

Mags54

@lizziejane I know exactly how you're feeling. It's horrible isn't it. It really does get better but at the moment you can't see that far ahead.
I haven't much in the way of advice I can give you (I'm normally the one asking advice!) but wanted to give you masses of virtual hugs and support.
:x::x::x::x::x::x:

kitti

Hi, I went to pieces at diagnosis, I have never felt so lost,scared, alone and couldn't sleep, eat or even think properly! Im not going to lie, I still find it hard but... I now know the plan they made for me at the mdt, its chemoradio, surgery and more chemo. I've been warned it's a gruelling plan but having a gruelling plan I find far easier than the unknown. Once they get all the info they need they will have a plan for you, and it's a plan agreed by oncologists, surgeons, radiologists etc, so lots of specialist input. After diagnosis I was given sleeping meds by my GP and I have also started anti anxiety/depression meds, if you haven't got anything to help you at this time please speak to your GP. Another thing that helped me is I've found I can only look a week or two ahead as any longer I find overwhelming. Hopefully you will have your plan soon, sending hugs and best wishes. :x:

1234annie

Welcome Lisa ❤ sorry you've joined our crap club but everyone is lovely and supportive. Your in the right place. :x:

KatieR

My husband is at about the same stage as you ....Appointment..wait ...result...tests...wait ..appointment...CAT scan ...wait ...see Specialist bad news ..more tests ...Waiting for phone to ring right now with appointment for MRI it got cancelled last week and this weekend has felt like a month ..I feel like a zombie food tastes like cardboard I cant follow a TV programme the house is a tip ..Im getting comfort from reading the posts on here for us newbies and have reread my Mindfulness book that is a big help to me too I will follow your adventure and wish you all the very best :x:

bexly33

Hi @lizziejane. It is very hard to take in. I was referred in November 2016 by my GP after eventually going back again with symptoms and had a colonoscopy. I was just handed the results of this to take home and told I would be contacted! When I read the results I knew straight away they were abnormal. I had a sigmoidoscopy in Jan 2017 where BC was confirmed. Had to wait a while to see consultant and eventually had op end of March due to bed shortage then 6 months of chemo. Now waiting for followup colonoscopy and CT scan. 2017 was a hard year. I've had my ups and downs but brilliant support from family and friends and also from this brilliant forum.It's been life changing. Take one step at a time. It's not easy, but it's doable. ? Linda :x::x::x:

Gill

Hi @lizziejane . SNAP. I was diagnosed following an ultrasound scan looking for gallstones (got one of those as well) which showed up multiple bi-lobal liver lesions. These were confirmed as secondaries, the primary being located in my sigmoid colon. CT scan also revealed minor spread to both lungs. Surgery was not deemed appropriate and I am on fortnightly palliative chemotherapy. I'm just coming up to my 32nd (I think) dose of chemo, which (along with Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy) is keeping the tumours under control for now. It is possible to lead a good life even with bowel cancer. I'm stage 4 incurable, confounding my oncologist, and still enjoying life 18 months post-diagnosis. You'll get through this. :x::x::x:

lizziejane

Hi Gill, thank you so much for taking time to get in touch. I’m sorry to hear your final diagnosis. I don’t know yet what stage I am at. I had a sigmoidoscopy this morning and an appointment next Thursday to find out what the next step will be. I send you hugs ? and xxx. Please stay in touch :x:

Sele2017

Hi Lizziejane, sorry to hear and to find yourself here! You are at the right place, I don't know what I would have done without this forum, full of really nice people who are here to help and support you. Wishing you all the best and I hope you will find out soon and start your treatment.
All the best. :x::x:

Hollyhock

Oh @lizziejane I remember that fear all too well. I was diagnosed during investigations into possible crohns. Cancer wasn't even a consideration, it was such a shock. You will feel so much more in control once you know what the plan of action is. Will keep everything crossed for you for Thursday, make sure you take someone with you, it's very difficult to remember everything they have said when you are feeling anxious. Let us know how you get on, big hugs :x::x:

margaret ensor

Hi. Sorry to hear you are going though the same thing I went through four years ago. Stay strong stay with the treatment. I have just found out I have secondary cancer in my lung I am waiting for treatment. So I need to plunge back in. I only found this forum this morning! My husband and I have been totally alone as we live in Spain. I miss England but can't afford to live there. Even though this is my second time facing cancer it's no easier. Stay strong. Stay with the treatment. I'm so glad I've found this group it was so lonely and terrifiying last time.