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Beating Bowel Cancer Community

Life with bowel cancer

rebeccao

Scared but fighting

I have been reading this forum for a while. I have stage 4 bowel cancer diagnosed in May. I have 3 kids and am not letting this thing have me without a fight. Here's my thoughts

At night when darkness falls and sleep seems so hard to find,
Thoughts creep into my head and whisper words I don't want to hear
Deep breaths, relaxation exercises, visualisation of my secret, safe place helps to take me away from the constant questions I cannot answer.
Cancer, a horrible word, a frightening reality. All that this disease brings. Different for everyone, no rules, no set path. Everyone of us individual, special, unique and that matters.
We need to remember our individuality, how special and unique we are. We are still important people with lives to lead, families and friendships to be part of, a lots of things still to do.
So when the darkness comes, and it will and does, remember the special moments, the daily treasures, the magic of the day you have just had and look forwards to tomorrow.
Don't let cancer have more time than it already takes. Live life, enjoy small things, spend time with loved ones, enjoy what nature is doing and fight.
No one knows what each of our unique, individual bodies is capable of. Hold onto that, believe you can win and reach for the future.

Thanks to all who are part of the forum, it means a lot to know you are all out there and so supportive or each other. It's certainly helping me.

Baxter2

A lovely post which we can all relate to without a doubt @rebeccao Sending you lots of love, hope and strength K 💜💛💚💙❤️

1234annie

❤❤❤ sending you lots of love. Every day is a second chance. One day at a time. :x: :x:

rebeccao
Quote from @HH79:
Hi @rebeccao I see you’re Hemel. I’m Tring. @DianeS is looking to organise a London hook up! Hope you can make it. What mets do you have?? I’m also stage 4 with two little ones

Hi HH79, no known mets at the mo but in lymph system so waiting to see where it pops up but hoping it doesn't! Just started on second 6 rounds of folfirinox if I can can stand the side effects. Keeping everything crossed :x::x:

Tiffany

Hi @rebeccao. Thank you for posting - what a powerful post! I am sure that many people on here feel the same way as you. I am the wife of a Stage 4'er. We also have three kids. I'm a huge believer in the power of positivity, healthy lifestyle and of course a huge dose of GOOD LUCK! Sometimes I think that some people are just lucky as there seems no rhyme or reason to this awful disease. However, a positive mind and strength to power through has worked for us. My hubby is no showing no evidence of disease and we are hoping to manage the disease with maintenance chemo.

I am also not too far from you - I live in Radlett - if you do want to join us on 7th December then let me know and we could go together.

Thinking of you and wishing you well for the next six rounds :x::x::x:

rebeccao
Quote from @HH79:
Hi @rebeccao I see you’re Hemel. I’m Tring. @DianeS is looking to organise a London hook up! Hope you can make it. What mets do you have?? I’m also stage 4 with two little ones

Hi, not going to be able to make the 7th Dec meet up but maybe in the new year we could meet for a coffee? I find it does really help to chat with someone who knows what we're going through :x::x:

DianeS

Hi @rebeccao we sometimes meet in St Albans at The Waffle House, sorry you can’t make 6th but I will arrange something for after Christmas. Love D :x::x::x::x:

John2628

Hi @rebeccao what a thought provoking post ! Thank you :x::x::x:

DianeS

Oooops yes it’s 7th @springer michelle lol, it’s my fingers :x::x::x::x::x:

GD1962

Hello @rebeccao

Just came aware of this post and it mirrors what many in our situation experience.

Hugs and positive healing thoughts to you :x::x::x:

BeckyK

Well you have beautifully summed up what most of us think and feel. It still feels so lonely during those dark times but when life is more positive it is comforting to know you are actually not alone x sending love :x:

Swanseacat

@rebeccao hello there and sorry to hear about your position. I’m near Great Missenden and have two small ones as well, always happy to chat or meet up (maybe with @HH79 too?). I’m stage 3c :x::x::x:

HH79

Hi @rebeccao @Swanseacat @DianeS what we go for end Jan/Feb, what days best for you ladies? Rumseys in Wendover for special cake??? Let me know!
Also @DianeS I’m really sorry but I can’t do the London meet up. Hope we can do Wendover! :x:

Swanseacat

I usually have childcare Tues/Wed/Thurs so those days best for me. Sat am and Sun pm too. I love Rumsey’s hot chocolate!!

rebeccao

@Swanseacat @HH79 , I'd love to meet but can't drive at the mo ! Any chance we could meet in Hemel? The fishery wharf cafe in Boxmoor on the canal is lovely and all homemade food. I am off work until the end of Jan, Tuesday is my best day. Can I suggest 16/1/18!!

rebeccao

Sounds good @HH79 @Swanseacat @DianeS I'll put it in my diary and reserve a table. Postcode HP1 1NA on Fishery Road

DianeS

Sounds great to me @rebeccao @HH79 and @Swanseacat something nice to look forward to after Christmas ❤️❤️